Envision this…a woman ~ the woman of your choice ~ spoiled in her own right ~ sitting atop a beautiful Grecian column. A man at her feet ~ perhaps offering her flowers, sucking her toes, whatever you like. The point of the imagery is to illustrate one concept – WORSHIP. I think at some point in every man’s life, he finds a woman and puts her on a pedestal…a Grecian column, if you will. His Aphrodite. His perfect speciman of a woman. In his eyes she can do no wrong. Is he blinded by love or lust or fear of being alone?
Somehow when thinking of this idea ~ I, for some reason, see the woman as undeserving of this “worship”. The relationship seems one-sided to me. She seems a spoiled, arrogant brat ~ drinking champagne and snapping her fingers while the man scurries around like a fool.
Then … at some point in time … the Princess inevitably kicks the man square in the teeth … breaking his ego, his heart, his belief in himself.
I think we as woman believe that we want to be that Princess on the Pedestal ~ we want that worship, doting, adoration. The problem is this ~ there can only be one Princess in each man’s life. Once he’s been kicked, he will never worship, dote or adore like that again. He is forever a changed man. Perhaps we women do the same thing ~ perhaps we have a Prince on a Pedestal.
I think in our maturity we have to realize that this imagery will never work. For if she (or he) is on a pedestal – and therefore “out of reach” – both literally and figuratively – then perhaps that is why relationships such as these wither and fade. How can you cultivate true intimacy when one person is so far “above” the other? I believe this is what happens emotionally in relationships such as these. The unattainable flower can’t be kept. The imbalance inevitably tips to one extreme.
So what is a better relationship model? One of mutual and equal love, respect and adoration. One where perhaps there is sometimes a slight imbalance, but is forever teetering in and out of balance – a realistic expectation, I believe. Can we give up the fairy tale wish of princesshood and accept being on the ground, by his side? Can we accept that we aren’t and never will be the Princess in his life? Is there something MORE?
I think the answer lies within the man. If he forever mourns the loss of his Princess and is therefore guarded, then I believe all subsequent women in his life will long for that position….even though it inevitably ended badly. I think if he realizes that he’d much rather have mutual respect, love and adoration then perhaps the woman will feel satiated with her place in his life. How do we communicate these desires, thoughts, feelings? In our actions and words…despite the losses of the past…the willingness to throw all fears aside and be 50% of a 100% equation. That love and adoration HAS to be there…although now it can be reciprocated at eye level with a full embrace. Who wouldn’t want THAT?
In the famous words of Kimmy (My Best Friend’s Wedding), “He’s got you on a pedestal and me in his arms.” But where is his HEART ???
Well, even if this post was not password-protected, I wouldn’t have realized anything. Anyway, I’ve read the post and, after pushing my brain and taking some time, I succeeded to at least get the tone of this post. I don’t know what does the word “Pedestal” means. Probably that’s why I couldn’t get it.
Now let me come to the point, you’re true. When a man, as well as a woman, falls in love with someone, she/he thinks his/her partner is prince/princess and he/she changes the way he/she thinks about him/her. But when they come to know that everything was fake, then the life turns worse.
It is simple math, you fall in love with a lovely woman, but when you come to know that she just acted with you; not truly in love, you’ll lose your attraction in women and will always treat every woman like her; unless you get again someone special who would change your mind.
Sorry for complex English. It isn’t my native language so probably I’ve made thousands of mistakes above.
Sorry.